Finally after a long resistance to the idea of babies, I agreed to have one. It felt selfish to push only my agenda in a marriage where he wanted children so much. Still he (my husband – let’s call him G) never pushed me. He was okay going childless, if I didn’t want them. Simply because he did what I wanted – always.
But I had seen him playing with our nephew, and the love in his eyes for the kid. And I gave in. Not because he asked me to, but because I loved him too and couldn’t deprive him of something he wanted so much. So in May 2015 we reached a decision to try for a baby – 4 years after we were married.
I’m in my early 30’s; being the ever practical one I told him let’s go get tested. I don’t want to be one of the couples who keep trying for a baby and fight with each other all the time. “Let’s see if everything is working fine and we’ll try then”. So he researched reproductive medicine practitioners and we decided on one who seemed to be best in Bangalore. We underwent some preliminary tests and everything was not ok. Big surprise!
The doc told us to take some medication – “it’ll be fine in 6 months and then you can try normally”. But G didn’t want to wait. Perhaps he thought i’ll change my mind in 6 months. “Are you ok with IVF?” he asked and I don’t know why – but I said yes. So began our journey to have a child, one that I’d have to finish alone.
I’ve started this blog to talk about this experience, because talking is the only thing left for me to do now!