Everything is falling apart

He was the glue that held my life together

Now, it’s falling to pieces

I never knew the little things that one needs to do everyday. I didn’t know how to pay bills, who delivered our milk, who was our cable provider, or even the local language. I had met G 15 years ago on 23rd Oct 2000. We were in our first year of engineering, and I had left home for the first time, moving nearly 1500 kms away from my hometown. Everything – food, language, weather, temperaments, clothes – was different here.

G gallantly stepped in to the role of my best friend and supreme protector. He did everything for me till the day he died. And I was happily dependent on him, never knowing one day i’ll have to take over without a transition period. Within the first week that I was back in Bangalore the cooking gas ran out (we don’t have piped gas yet). A few days later the coil in the water heater stopped working, and on the same day the money ran out on our cable subscription. The rocking recliner of our year old sofa collapsed, and I couldn’t figure out how to pay the electricity bill. It’s just been a month and I’m already struggling. Who knows how many years I have before I can catch him and beat the shit out of him for leaving me alone!

So, I spent a few days trying to sort out these things, trying patiently again and again till some thing moves ahead a bit. Thankfully I had access to his email and was able to locate a few documents and agents. But still my task list was growing longer and longer. And finally earlier this week I broke down and cried, for silly little things. For not being able to get hold of an electrician to fix a water heater, for spending half a day in trying to recharge by cable connection, for being so useless at life! It does seem that everything is coming to pieces because he is gone.

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