Starting my new office – without him

I quit my job in June’15 to start my new venture along with 2 ex-colleagues. had already quit a few years ago and was pursuing his real estate dreams. In July we registered our new company and were actively looking for an office space. We finalized one property in the first week of August and G also came to see it. He liked the location, the space and our plans for it that he said he’d also like to get a seat here.

A fancy real estate business must have a fancy office and a hot secretary, he said. So 2 seats for his business to be reserved. We teased him that maybe he should reserve only one seat and have the secy sit on his lap. Stupid humor that time. Who was to know that the very next week, he wouldn’t need even a finger-width’s space.

While I was gone, staying at his native town for the rituals, my partners had to move forward and finalize the rental agreement and buy some furniture. We dropped all plans for doing a major interiors project. We just wanted a place to sit and work now. Anyway, in early September we moved in while the furniture and essentials were still being delivered. Now that it’s in some sort of shape, we are hosting a small opening ceremony. It’s tomorrow; and I don’t want to attend it. Because he won’t be there to celebrate with me.

People are writing to us, congratulating us for this new phase of life – a journey as entrepreneurs. It’s not an exciting phase for me. I am not happy, and I don’t want to be. I just want to stay in bed and write. Write about everything that has happened, write about the 15 years together, write about him. I’ve been thinking for the longest time if I can put up a picture of him here. But I don’t have a workstation – we use a common table – and I don’t want to invade in the general space.

I will have to show up tomorrow. I am sure i’m gonna cry. But as people keep telling me – life goes on. I just wish it didn’t!


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