5 reasons why people think I shouldn’t have a baby

I’ve told a few people that I’m going to have G’s baby; no matter what. I think it was fate that left a part of him behind. It’s a chance I have to create a piece of him and there is no way I can let it go. But some disagree. And here are 5 most common reasons I have heard:

  1. It’s going to be a scandal – The relatives don’t know yet, and tongues wag. My Embryo Transfer is not going to happen at least till Jan/ Feb and he’d have been gone for almost 6 months then. I’ve been told that people will find it difficult to accept that it’s his baby – not many have heard of IVF, and even few of those who have understand it. Well fuck them I say. It’s my decision, and mine alone. And if they don’t get it, well too bad. His mom knows and mine too, and they completely support me.
  2. The kid is going to grow up fatherless – Well, so do a lot of other children. Hey, I grew up practically fatherless, and I turned out fine. And I think the kid is going to be loved a lot more than those who have fathers. Because he’ll be G’s baby – and there is no one i’ve met who didn’t love him. G’s brother may have to play a double role 🙂 and I am sure he’s love to do that. It would have been great if G had stayed around to be a father, since he was the one who truly loved kids. But he didn’t – life screwed us; but i’m not going to go down without a fight. I am going to bring him back!
  3. Being a single mom is not easy  – Being single is not easy either. Perhaps the kid will give a direction to my life. Perhaps, I’ll be able to focus my energies on something productive. Nothing is easy, and I am not afraid. I am scared yes; but not of having a baby.
  4. You will not be able to move on – What do you know about moving on? People are worried that I will not find a companion for my old age. I’m quite young and perhaps one day i’ll meet someone new, and perhaps he’ll be as great as G, and perhaps we’ll get married. That’s a lot of perhaps to chance this baby on. The baby is a real possibility – right now. Companionship is a distant probability – AND highly unlikely in the society we live in. Plus no one can be like G. May be I WILL end up alone even if I don’t have the baby and then I’ll be really alone. So, sorry folks, attempt to have the baby will progress as planned.
  5. But you didn’t want it anyway – People say I am taking an emotional decision. Of course it’s an emotional decision. Maybe I didn’t want kids, but having one was a joint decision. He didn’t force me in to it. Not everything in life is practical. And not everything goes your way. If there is one thing i’ve learnt from G’s death, it’s to take life as it comes and to follow your heart. And my heart tells me to have the baby.

I am sure attempts to convince me otherwise will continue, but I am nothing if not stubborn. Wait and watch people, wait and watch.

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11 thoughts on “5 reasons why people think I shouldn’t have a baby

  1. Wow. That post packed quite a punch. What you are choosing to do is undeniably controversial but I thought you made some really compelling arguments here. It’s the kind of situation that you can imagine hours of philosophical, political, ethical debate over. Or a film. Probably both. I don’t think there’s a right answer, just the right one for you. Good luck x

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    1. Thanks Ella. I know it’s a crazy decision, and I know even the people who are telling me these reasons are my well wishers, but it’s just some thing I have to do. I mean, I don’t want to get older and then think that I had a chance and I blew it. Anyway IVF success rates are dismal. So maybe nothing will happen, or hopefully it would. But it has to be tried. Because right now it’s the right road… and who knows about tomorrow

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      1. I don’t think it’s crazy at all, just bloody difficult and hugely controversial. It was a really good post to read though because it helped make it easier to understand why you’ve made a clearly tough decision the way you have. How bad are the success rates? I hope you get lucky x

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      2. I’m quite thick skinned when it comes to controversies :). So no trouble there. Success rates are 40% and then also people take 6-7 attempts sometimes. I have only one chance 😦

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  2. I know you are tough as a nail when you have made up your mind on something. Don’t be distracted or worried about negative advice…they don’t and won’t understand. Trust your heart…you will reach your goal and remember phoenix…its reality is clearer now…… Love and loads of hugs

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