Who will hold my hand?

Recently my sis had a beautiful baby girl. She was delivered via a C-section after much deliberation. Her husband went in with her to the OT to be with her while the doctors did their job. At the peril of sounding whiney, I have to say I wondered who’ll do that for me?

With G gone, and me trying for this baby, if and when it happens, who will hold my hand? Who’ll indulge my whims and fancies? And who will back my decisions? It’s not easy to bring a baby in to this world, but things get easier when you have the support of a partner. Note to those who’ve been advising me against this – see I know it’s not easy!

If that baby happens, and I know it will, I don’t want to be alone in the labor room or the OT. I know i’m thinking too much, even the next egg retrieval hasn’t started yet and it’ll be at least an year before this situation arises. But i’ve really been worried about it. And i’ve been eliminating possibilities in my head. I definitely don’t want my mum or his mum to be there. No older people, I want someone my own age. Someone who wouldn’t offer advice, but just quietly support me. I can’t have his brother there either, I won’t be comfortable; neither will he I guess. Perhaps my sis or my sis in law?

But i’ve been titling in favor of my ‘Besties’ (they know who they are) and I think one of them should be there. I don’t even know who’ll be around at that particular time, but one of them better make it. If it turns out to be the guy – god help him :). It’s going to be weird witnessing the birth of someone else’s kid and i’m sure relatives will raise eyebrows as well. But eyebrows will be raised anyways since extended family doesn’t know my plan. And i’d rather look for my comfort that time than observing proprieties.

Still it’s all a fancy right now. Who knows what happens tomorrow?


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