This topic was going to come up one day. It was just a matter of time really, and that time arrived today. We went to register the memorial trust in his name – his brother and dad, me and my mom. While his brother and I were signing the deed we left the oldies sitting in one spot. Naturally they got talking. His dad was concerned about my well being, worried that I stay alone now, and overall how am I going to manage life etc.
But he did say something else, the accusation I was dreading from the day this happened. He said our horoscopes didn’t match and therefore the tragedy that’s befallen us all. It’s true they didn’t – everyone knew it including the very devout G. According to my horoscope – not that I believe in all this – I am a Manglik; and G was not. And therefore I would be the cause of a lot of troubles in our lives. He still wanted to marry me – case closed.
Still, to minimize damage, before we were married, parents on both sides took a lot of preventive measures. His parents went on a special pilgrimage to ask their supreme deity whether or not this marriage should take place. The deity blessed the union with a flower and their fears were put to rest. My mom made me marry a pot – kumbh vivah – to cancel the negative effects of my Manglik star chart. Many astrologists were consulted and a lot of other smaller things were done to make this union auspicious. Didn’t work – did it?
So when G died, I knew someday someone will bring this up. Someone will pipe up and say how my defective horoscope led to his death. Someone will point the finger. And now it’s happened. And slowly it’ll percolate to all relative branches till this is THE one whispered conversation in family corridors (both sides). And I shall be the killer.
Maybe I agree there was a fault in our stars. But he’s gone on while I am left to suffer here. I would rather that it was the other way around. He should have stayed back and cried buckets. He should have missed me. He should have dealt with life alone.
I don’t like this situation. Can we have an action replay please? With a slight twist in the script? I’ll take the red car any day!