In July, G made the last drink I had – up until 26th Nov. That was the day I reached Delhi for our friend’s wedding. We both loved our alcohol and went drinking at least a couple of times a week. But then we gave it up for the baby project – G in May’15 and I in July’15. I stuck on to the no alcohol promise even after the disastrous events of August – the baby project was still on!
But then this wedding happened. And G wasn’t there to celebrate with his friend. And I was his poor replacement. So I decided to take a break, and cut myself some slack in the process. The 1st egg retrieval was done and perhaps the effects of a little alcohol would wear off by the time I went for the second one. So I had a drink on 26th Nov, and then I had several on 28th, and then I had some more in the days that followed.
Being intoxicated again was nice. It made me cry, but it also made me not care. And maybe that’s why I drank more. I told myself I wouldn’t after November. That i’ll be back to a healthier routine in December and prep for the next cycle. But the lure of that I-don’t-care-what-happens feeling was too great. I’ve been making excuses and downing shots and I need to stop. I knew I shouldn’t have started again, because it would be difficult to stop.
While I look longingly at the bar cabinet, I’m trying to get the resolution in place again. No more drinking. Gotta find some other way of taking my mind off things. More exercise maybe? Or needlework? I could do needlework – it probably will just bore me to death.
Sigh! Would it be too much to ask that alcohol be good for health?