Lessons in patience

I was never the patient type. Always in a rush, I needed to get things moving, to get them done. I was the one who always reached everywhere on time. I came up with a list of things to be done. In fact I even made G download a to-do list app! I’d keep hopping around till the project I’d picked up got moving. And every new thing was exciting.

G was the exact opposite. He was laid back. He did few things, but enjoyed them the most. He knew what he wanted to do and was only focused on that (except the projects I pushed on to him). He could wait forever (at least that’s what it seemed like to me) to get something done. Perhaps it was something he learnt at his job that dealt with a lot of government officials. We all know how things move in bureaucratic circles. And he was never on time! I mean if we have to go watch an evening show for some movie, i’d dress up in time for the night show. I knew that’s when he’s turn up! He’s miss flights, get late for meetings, arrive last at social gatherings -but he charmed his way through all of that while I was fuming.

So we sort of balanced each other. I pushed him when he got to complacent. He toned me down when I was hyperactive/ agitated/ impatient. But now the scales have tipped. I have to learn my lessons in patience alone. And boy do I need it! This baby project is not going to get over anytime soon. There are long periods of wait before any progress is made, and the result is so uncertain! I’ll not know whether it has worked or not till I actually deliver a baby. So that’s a year long horizon anyway.

Anyone who knows me well will know how tough the wait is for me. I am not used to waiting. I hate it. I was always the one for instant gratification. So basically I’d be super happy if I could have the baby today please, and skip all the steps in between. It’s not like I’m going about it the fun way anyways. Getting poked, prodded and injected with cold, metal artifacts is so not what procreation was intended to be all about. But I must thank the higher powers for the technology, it’s at least given me some hope!

So here I am, waiting and waiting and waiting. For things to happen, for life to move on, for him to come back, for who knows what not. If nothing I am going to come out of this as a very patient person. And younger (all those anti-aging pills for the IVF). And hopefully not alone. Little consolations of life…

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