When I came back from Mumbai minus a gall bladder and 15 eggs, I wasn’t in a very good shape. I felt weak, unwell, jittery, and unsettled. Perhaps as a friend had helpfully pointed out – I was torturing myself. Perhaps I was rushing things, needing to follow a timetable I had set in my head. Whatever the case, things weren’t looking too good.
After a week of struggling to get back to routine and failing, I decided to take a break. I just ate and slept and did absolutely nothing else. And it helped. I guess my body just needed some time to heal and when it got that time, I felt much better. And that got me thinking.
I remember a chance remark my doctor had made. We had been able to retrieve only 11 good eggs, a bit less than what we were expecting. She wondered aloud if that was perhaps because the system had been traumatized by the gall bladder acting up and the consequent surgery. “We’ll be able to get a better number the next time when you have healed” she said. Perhaps then it was time to heal.
One needs to give a break of a month between 2 consecutive egg retrievals. So after egg retrieval you wait for your first period, then take some medicines and start the next cycle from the first day of the next period. So if I went according to my original plan I’d have been back for the next egg retrieval in another couple of days. But I missed one cycle. I decided to take it a little easy, and take another month off. So now I’m going to call up the doc in the next few days and start the medication. I should be ready to lay more eggs by the first week of feb.
And when I meant break, I really took a break. I went off my diet – perhaps not the best thing, I even derailed my exercise routine, and gave in to alcohol cravings. Not the best of ideas I guess! Still, the year is coming to an end, and I’ve started getting back in to the regime again. By 1st of January it’ll be in full force – no exceptions.
I liked it when I was being too hard on myself. It was as if I had done something that deserved punishment. I am not happy on this break – these have been some of the darkest days. But sometimes one has to take advise; and I took it. Everyone around me asked me to let loose for a while, to take it easy, to try and get the sparkle back in my eyes. Well at least they can’t say I haven’t tried.
So the baby project should be back on track soon. Here’s to a (re)productive New Year!