Those years apart

From mid 2007 to almost end of 2009 we friend-zoned each other; though it was a complicated friend zone. In fact for around 8 months in 2009 we didn’t even speak to each other. That is until the call came – “Will you marry me” and I said “yes”.

Once we both started work, there really wasn’t time to mull over old issues. We were busy, we were meeting new people and making a new life. I don’t know his story, but I met someone who was interested in me and we saw each other briefly. He was 4 years older than I was and he was looking to get married. There was nothing wrong with the guy – he was tall, good looking, heading a department in a big company, owned a house and a car, kept his house neat – I mean what more do you want?

I was getting pressurized at home to get married. I was approaching 26 and in my community that’s like you’ve already missed the marriage bus. So anyway, here was this eligible bachelor (EB) asking me to get married, and there was that idiot who didn’t know what he wanted.

G had come down to Hyderabad once and we slept together just out of habit. I wasn’t seeing the EB yet, but I knew him. When G left it was still as a friend and nothing more. It was frustrating, it was confusing. We were not together yet we were. So I decided to apply for a transfer to Bangalore. I figured if we were closer together, we’ll know what we wanted and I also wanted to escape from EB because I didn’t know where that was going. I wasn’t ready to marry him! Transfer was applied for and was under consideration. But you know how large companies work. They’d take months to just approve it! Meanwhile things were busy getting complicated, and I was feeling restless. So I flew down to Bangalore to meet G – with the sole agenda of getting married to him. I took my papers etc. that are required for a registered wedding.

I went there and stayed at a friends house (G’s friend at that time) and kept trying to close this topic – “Will you marry me or not?”

G didn’t answer – I spent 2 days in Bangalore and tried to figure out what he wanted ┬ábut he didn’t answer. So I told him the truth that there is this another guy who wants to marry me, my mom is pushing me to get married, and if G can’t commit I am going ahead with that plan. He stayed non committal and we considered that discussion closed. We weren’t getting married.

So back in Hyderabad, I told my mom to go speak to this guy’s parents and arrange for the wedding. She went to Delhi with a few of my relatives to start the conversations. And then fate struck again.

Remember the transfer application I had put in? Well they transferred me to Bangalore. And I didn’t want the transfer now, because there was nothing for me to go back to. But apparently, the decision once taken wasn’t reversible. So I packed my bags and moved to Bangalore. That effectively put and end to the Hyderabad story.

I was working and staying with some roomies in Bangalore and G would often drop in. But we were still in friend zone. We laughed, we chatted, went out and had fun. It was nice, but uncertain. Then the company I worked for collapsed, and all of us working there had to find new jobs. G used his contacts and found me one in Mumbai.

So in July of 2009 I was back where we started drifting apart. Back to the city of dreams – Mumbai.

Come to think of it, Mumbai is playing a big role in our story. I am headed there this weekend, to try and conceive G’s baby. So this’ll be the city where we parted, where we decided to get married, and where we’ll have our baby – interesting!

G – did you like mumbai so much?


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