Almost everyone had expressed some doubts on my baby project. Raising a baby is not easy by any standards, doing it alone, even more so. I’ve never had a doubt on my decision, but my niece’s arrival has given my choice a much needed validation.
For one, since she’s been here I haven’t brooded – there is no time to be sad. There is no time to think of things that should have been or could have been. There is no conjuring up of G’s images or looking at old photos. I don’t even have much to pour out on these pages. The one thing I still do is share our Facebook memories every day. But other than that all my time is spent with the little mouse. We talk and laugh and generally cuddle. And when the day is over I am glad to go to bed – managing babies takes energy.
So that’s the solution I’ve been looking for – have a baby of my own and get so occupied that I have no time to think. And get exhausted in a nice way, and not depend on people for their time and availability. A little someone to hang out with 🙂
A very clichéd dialogue says “If you want something with every fiber of your being, the universe conspires to give it to you”. I hope one such conspiracy is going on for me!