Missing a vital piece

Four years ago this month we went to the north east India for our friends’ wedding. Since we were going all the way, we decided to club it with a trip to places in and around Guwahati. So we covered Shillong, Cherapunji, Kaziranga and Gangtok. We walked in the clouds, saw the famous rhinoceros, and sailed on the mighty Brahmaputra.

It was the first ever trip with my family – mom and sis. And it reinforced one of the best things about G. He took care of my family like they were his own. Not even I can match up to what he did.

I look through pictures every day, and it’s hard to believe that they are all I have now. Sometimes when I read something funny, or play with Hash, or watch an interesting thing on TV I turn around to ask his opinion. And when I don’t see him, there is a moment of confusion before reality sets in. And then I shiver, and wonder how it can be?

I miss taking decisions together. Even simple things. Like I had to buy a new water purifier today and I didn’t know which one. He did those things, researched, compared, found the best deal. I was cluelessly staring at the screen and then I just bought the first one I came across. He’d have slapped his forehead if he knew I did this. Perhaps he’s doing that right now wherever he is.

It’s tough without him. Like missing a vital piece of me. I am not so sure about anything now. Simply put, I am scared. And uncertain. That devil may care attitude died with him. He was the backbone to my swagger. When he was around, I believed we could conquer the world. Now I’m just living out my days. Sometimes I wish I have an accident too. Then I can leave all the cares, worries, everything behind me. Then someone else will have to deal with stuff. And I’ll have peace.

Life sucks!

Advertisements

15 thoughts on “Missing a vital piece

      1. I very much am. But i don’t like something writing ‘great post’, ‘nice post’ etc on every blog he/she reads…you do the same on my page too – and you know that (no point in being defensive on that)!

        Btw, you still haven’t got the post! Go, read it again and think what happened there!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Life is strange, but believe me you are not alone!

    I have a friend who lost her hubby to an accident when she was just few months into her first pregnancy…so tragic. She has a girl now and takes care of her – a piece of him!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s