Day 101: A Friend

This is sooo true.. I’ve faced it too, and often. And in the end it does end up as “fuck it.. i’ll do it alone”.


For 100 days, people have been telling me they will do whatever they can do to help, just let them know how… that they will be available at any hour of the day or night…

No they’re not… And no they won’t. Today when I approached someone who would “do anything to help; anything, anytime!” to assist with a task that would be personally difficult, but not for someone outside the situation. …No… He wouldn’t assist… but he’ll still do “anything, anytime” if it so suits him.

After being disappointed once again, I decided that the best solution for me is to just go it alone. Who needs them. “Fuck them all!” I already lost the one person I needed, my all-time favourite everything, my husband.

As I stewed in anger at each of these disappointing individuals, I suddenly realized what would be helpful…what truly is needed from others…


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4 thoughts on “Day 101: A Friend

  1. Amen to this one! People love to throw that “let me know if there is anything I can do” and put the onus on you, which to me in itself is awful because during grief a) often reaching out is horribly difficult, and b) reaching out asking for someone to care for me is something I know I personally terrible at anyhow! I always say, if you want to do something nice for someone going through a loss, do it – don’t wait to be asked to do it. Society often trains women to take care of others and that asking for support is selfish, and even though we know intellectually it’s not.

    Liked by 1 person

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