Every time I have to interact with someone, I think of how G would have handled it. He was a complete people’s person. He thrived on relationships, conversations, even gossip. He wanted to know everything about you, and remembered it even when he was a scatterbrain on a lot of things.
He made strong bonds with people, and I see them in action. People are there for me today because he cared for them and they know I meant more than anything to him. So they want to help me, and be there for me as he was there for them. The relationship currency he earned was way more than anything we’ve ever made in terms of money.
The last time we went to Goa, last April, we all met our friends girlfriend for the first time. He got married to her later in 2015, and she only got that one chance to meet G. I still think if we’d made it to their engagement (8th August), G would still be alive. Anyway, so she told me later that on that trip G was the person who instantly made her feel welcome. He spoke to her as if she was already an old friend; poking fun and laughing together. That’s who he was, with everyone.
He was the last man standing at any party, even of it were with difficulty. He could outdrink anyone and made many a drinking buddies. The funniest I think was when he was dropping me to a friend’s place for a party and heading out to one of his own, when he took a lift from a stranger and they both ended up going for a drink! I could never do that, nor I think can many people.
We still drink to him, for his vivacity that made parties go on. For his knack of making life’s issues go away. For the care he took of each one of us and the sheer life force he carried with him. I bet no one has ever seen him without a smile on his face. No matter how tired, how worn out, how upset he was, he could always summon up the energy for a smile. And I was lucky to have him, because honestly I am a sour puss. His complete opposite, it’s a challenge for me to smile.
Yesterday, we had a family moment. His parents, brother & sis-in-law, our nephew and the 2 dogs. And I missed him. Every minute that we spent together I was wondering what G would do. He’d have loved Hash and Leo and he’d have made our nephew play with them. He’d have taken all of them out running.. around the block and in the park. He’d have taught our nephew how to brush their fur. For him it’d have been a perfect day.
And when I was coming back home, in the car, I had those flashes again – of the accident. It seemed so strange that he was in it, because it felt like I’d just spent the day with him. I cannot accept that he’s gone forever, and I know I keep repeating it. It just isn’t real. It’s not.
If he were here he’d tell me to stop fussing and just chill. He’ll tell me it’s okay if things don’t go your way sometimes. He’s tell me it’s okay to just sit on the couch and do nothing. He’s tell me it’s okay if we don’t make a mark on the world. For him, it was enough that we had each other. And I was the fool who couldn’t see it. And now that I’ve lost him forever, everything else just seems such a waste…