Nine

Today is 9 months since he’s been gone. And I’ve spent the whole day in tears. I even took the day off work because I couldn’t focus on anything. My head has been blank, I am not thinking anything, but tears won’t stop rolling. I’ve been without him for 9 months. I’ve cried every day for 9 months.

I’ve been trying to make sense of things. Trying to keep him alive – one through my attempts at the baby and two through the foundation I set up in his name. Yesterday I sent out the below message to people on my various groups – friends, family, acquaintances, coworkers.

Hi, I am writing to ask your support in keeping Gaurav’s memory alive. As you may know we had started a trust in his name and very soon (June/July) we hope to inaugurate a vocational training centre for urban poor women in Bangalore. We will need your support to keep the place running as all the training provided is free. In case you want to help, could you make your donations to:
GAURAV SHANBHAG MEMORIAL TRUST
Bank: ICICI
Branch: KOTHANUR BRANCH, BANGALORE
A/C No.: 185005000222
IFSC Code: ICIC0001850

Request you to please pass on the message to those you think would be willing to help. For any questions write to: gauravshanbhagtrust@gmail.com

While some came forward to help, I received some weird comments too. One old classmate responded on FB saying while she appreciated my intent of social work she was “skeptical and surprised” that I would do so saying I’m keeping his memory alive. Obviously this person had no clue and hadn’t even bothered to check my wall that’s a record of what’s happened. And then she comes and says absolute nonsense. I deleted her comment and blocked her for good measure.

One called me immediately after my request for help. I assumed she was calling to say how she could help. Without even a “how are you doing” she launched in to a discussion on how I could help her find someone for a commercial project she was doing. I was as polite as I could manage, but I’m never picking her calls again!

I am done with idiots and insensitive morons.

Hopefully tomorrow would be a better day…

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