I have a problem with a generation of entitled kids being raised around me. Kids who get what they want as soon as they ask for it. Kids who are bundled in blankets and rushed to doctors at the first sneeze, kids who are isolated so much that their immune systems collapse at the first assault, kids who want to win every game or not play at all – and I wonder at their future. That’s not how the world works right. The real world is dirty, and rough, and unfair. How long will we protect these kids, how long until they face reality the hard way? Aren’t we setting them up to be bitter, resentful adults? We promise them the moon, and the best the world has to offer are a few broken debris!
So I have a problem with this modern parenting. And I always thought that’s not how my kid is going to be raised. Now that I HAVE a kid, I’m sure he is not going to be raised that way.
Somewhere along the way, in this whole super protective parenting we’ve forgotten that kids are resilient – very resilient. They can bounce back from almost anything you throw at them. And we should develop that resistance – not curb it. The medical community is already agreeing that over protecting our children is messing up their immune system and making them prone to allergies. And I’m not the only one who thinks pandering to our kids’ every whim and fancy is a parenting fail. In fact popular modern parenting practices may be setting your kid up to fail!
I’ve felt that my generation and the one before ours were stronger because we faced hardships. We had parents not “friends”. They looked after us, but brooked no argument. Their word was law, and they didn’t need parenting books to bring us up! They didn’t run to the hospital for every cut and blister – instead we were asked to suck it up and carry on. We were smacked if we misbehaved, and goodies were a privilege not entitlement. I think that shaped a lot of how I have dealt with life. I could deal with things that could have destroyed people. I waded through love, and loss, and trauma, and pain – and I managed to do it without whining, and by myself.
Can our kids today do the same? I think not!
To raise Adi I’m going back to old practices. To methods that ensured survival, and resilience, and good behavior. He’s been home 3 weeks and more, I haven’t bothered with a hand sanitizer. He’s met people, traveled between cities, gulped down Ghutti (an Indian Ayurvedic preparation for babies), and had coconut oil cures for phototherapy induced constipation! And he’s doing just fine.
I haven’t read parenting books either, and if I have questions I call my mom or my mother in law. They’ve raised us, they know what to do. And even when he grows up, he will learn to live the way the world works. You want something, you work for it. You respect people, and get their respect in return. You don’t whine, you go out and get it done.
All that said and done, I know there is no one size fits all approach to parenting. I mean there are anti-vaxxers out there who believe vaccination is bad! So I’m sure the modern parenting thing is working for someone! And it’s ultimately their decision. And it’s not like I’m going back to the stone age child rearing practices either. Just you know.. something practical, with a bit of common sense… I mean after all, how he turns out will be my contribution to the society right.
That is such a scary thought!!!!