This is not in line with the posts I have been posting on this blog. It’s nothing to do with Gaurav or my baby project, or the new journey as a mom. It’s just something that I think needs attention, and this is the only platform I have to air my views.
I constantly find myself in the middle of infuriating conversations, where people think women asking for certain things – such as help if they are indisposed, or leave when they are dying of period cramps – must not tout the feminist agenda. As if being in need of something from men, or asking for men’s help automatically puts us out of the feminist camp in to the damsel in distress category!
I am tired of people who think feminism is all about equality. It’s not!
Men and women are biologically different. They come with different capabilities and each has their own strengths and weaknesses. Why must the same yardstick judge them? And honestly, I think the women who are going back to work 3 days after having a baby, or losing the pregnancy weight in a week are doing a great disservice to other women. I mean hello! You just pushed a human being out of your body! Your body needs rest – it needs to recuperate. Don’t deny it that because of some weird standard you have to match up to! Do you see any man doing anything that remotely requires what it takes to birth a child? And then come to work? NO!
I am sure the women who are trying to do this – to fit in – have immense strength and will power. That’s why they can do it all. But why set such unrealistic standards? What is the message that you are sending out?
Ladies! We have nothing to prove! Instead of killing ourselves trying to balance work and home and everything else in between; instead of leaning in; we need to create new standards of performance. There is a illustration doing rounds on social media that demonstrates this concept beautifully.
Let’s not set unrealistic expectations for men or women or any gender that people associate themselves with. Let’s give everyone the support they need – and create conditions that they can excel in! By creating the same performance standards we are penalizing both men and women. Why is a homemaker pressured to pursue a career? Why is a career woman guilted in to staying at home? Why is being a stay at home dad such a stigma?
Just let people BE!