Tears don’t make you weak

I’ve spent most of last 3 years crying my eyes out. I’ve cried because of grief, because of anger, and because of helplessness.

I’ve cried for big things and little things. I’ve cried because test after test for pregnancy came negative, I’ve cried because I was unable to reach a suitcase lying on the topmost shelf.

I’ve cried of grief and of happiness.

I’ve cried because I was lonely, and sometimes because people would not leave me alone.

I’ve cried in the stillness of my home, with my head buried in a pillow, I’ve sobbed in hospital waiting rooms, I’ve bawled in the embrace of friends, and I’ve shed tears in the middle of the road.

I’ve cried till there were no more tears to be shed…and then I’ve cried some more.

Does that make me weak?

No; because I’ve still carried on. Doing what I wanted to, and needed to do. Doing it alone or with help. Carrying on, because it had to be done.

We get very uncomfortable when someone cries. And mostly weeping is seen as a weakness. But we often forget that sometimes the strength you need to find is in your tears.

It’s a cleanse. A way to let off some pressure. Every time I’ve cried it has strengthened my resolve. I’ve felt that now the worst is behind me and I’ll survive somehow. That now the emotion is dealt with, I can focus on the practical.

It’s important to deal with emotion – you cannot just stuff it in a closet and forget about it. It’ll find you eventually! So deal with it when it presents yourself – and to hell with what people think of it.

And I’m not just faffing. There is scientific evidence that a good cry helps you feel better!

I think people need to respect tears and not get all aflutter about them. When you see someone weeping, don’t try to make them stop! And for god’s sake, stop saying “what happened”!

I don’t think half the time a person who’s crying has ONE reason to do so. They may have ONE trigger, but then when the floodgates open, there could be any number of things they could be crying for.

The best response is to give them a hug and simply say “it’ll be ok”. That’s it. That’s all they need. It could result in  few more tears – but that’s ok too.

When we stop making such a fuss about tears, and when we stop getting uncomfortable about them, we’ll realize that tears don’t make us weak at all! So go on, have a cry if you need to.. it’s OK.

2 thoughts on “Tears don’t make you weak

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