Boundaries

Every Indian kid, most Asian ones in fact will agree that our parents have no sense of personal space or boundary. It’s as if our lives are connected to theirs with no idea of ‘self’ for anyone. They poke in to our cupboards, check our phones, rearrange our drawers, throw out our stuff… without so much as a “May I?”  And it’s not just stuff, they question your personal decisions at every step and of course always know a way to do it better.

Why the rant?

Mom came to visit for a week!

But jokes aside, this lack of boundaries is an issue. Something most of us have dealt with for so long. We let it be because we respect our parents. We let it be because that’s the way it always has been. We let it be because we don’t want to hurt their feelings. And finally at some point, we become them!

And it’s not just parents, maybe it’s a cultural thing, but personal decisions become a topic of group discussions quite often. We’ve all gone through large family debates on what should we study, what should be our career path, who should we marry (we don’t date), when should we have kids, and how should we raise them! I think the only discussion Indian’s shy away from is what brand of condoms to use! And that’s because we never have sex…

I have had arguments with my mom on how many spoons should I own!

Until finally it’s not funny. Or even acceptable.

And I’ve finally learnt to say no. I’ll no longer do things just because they are always done a certain way. I’ll no longer sit quietly as my mom rearranges my kitchen. I’ll no longer accept trespass of my personal boundaries.

If that makes you feel I’m obnoxious… so be it!

 

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